A Tribute to La Bullshat
Updated: Jan 30, 2022
La Bullshat, I Am Your Number One Fan!

I wrote this poem - "La Bullshat, I Am Your Number One Fan!" - on September 10, 2021 for the FAHnFEST La Bullshat video for which Arms solicited questions from the fahndom. My video of this poem didn't make it in because it was too long, so it has been sitting in my FAH folder for quite some time. I've shown it to two fahn friends who really liked it, but it didn't go anywhere else. However, for the new year I thought I would just throw it up on my site because it was actually a lot of fun to write and to record. I wrote to Arms and told him that I did this and he asked to see it, so I sent it to him. He didn't get back to me about it, so I still don't know whether he liked it or not. But either way, I like it and I thought I would bring it out of the shadows and into the light for others to enjoy. I've pulled all the La Bullshat references from the Patreon vids that Arms has done. There is a bit of a twist at the end that is really driven home in my own reading of the poem. In the video you'll hear how persuasively fervent and earnest I am about being a fan of La Bullshat!
La Bullshat, I Am Your Number One Fan!
Here me out, as I beg of thee to listen to my gentle pleas!
Your art! It tastes so fine, especially that plate of charcuterie,
On which I dined the night
You wore that lampshade on your head
and danced in zero light around my table with delight.
You spoke to me and I lost myself in the reverie of your voice!
Famed artiste of world renown, please don’t treat me like a clown
For I, too, feel the call of art! As I have proclaimed above,
I am your number one fan and will do anything for you,
Including going to Timbuktoo! Don’t drive away as I present myself at your car!
I’m here to stay and you know you won’t get far!
I am your best choice to fulfill that dream you desire to complete,
it is the infamous “fusion piece” as you proclaimed
In the interview with yourself. I am here at your unintended invitation
to work in collaboration with the “we” who you announced
will come together to celebrate art and perhaps, even take in stride
the next best thing, playing Joan of Arc with a 21st century
Theme . . . like, you know, with a bit of craic and the
latest ability to tame the wildest bobcat!
Will you let me sit under the glow of your bounteous light,
touch the hem of your garment. I swear, I’m not an alarmist!
Please include me in the wondrous joys of your awesome fight for
truth, justice and the limelight!
So, what do you say my dear man?
can I come and be involved in your great plan?
Don’t say no to this simple request, for at your behest,
you did indeed say “we” in that interview
And I knew, from the look in your eyes, that you meant me.